In defence of Charlie Sheen–and why he can’t stop #Winning
Charlie Sheen needs to be on the cover of the Oxford book of humorous quotations, not as a joke but as a fact. This guy is on a roll that could have Oscar Wilde scraping for speech writers. After busting out lines like, “We need to hack up the person responsible for this bad connection….hack him up in front of his children. We need to cut off his face and wear it and go on a really tightly budgeted shopping spree in stores that don’t exist yet” and “I don’t have time for their judgment and their stupidity. They lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then look at me and they say ‘I can’t process it’. Well no, and you never will. Stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show”.
Tell me this guy is not a Sheenius
I searched Charlie’s name here on Mahala and found that “the search did not match any items” where are we?Australia? Does no South African have an opinion on him?
In a year that has included the death of Bin Laden, a Japanese disaster and other miscellaneous items on Fox News, Charlie is amongst the biggest news makers of the year. Not surprising considering that he has “Tiger Blood”.
This year’s rants and raves have been slightly more epic then those form the past, a hard do considering that he wasn’t beating people up or being arrested live on TV. Although he was spotted wielding a machete on top of a building a while ago (see YouTube for details).
Sheen was fired this year after an eight season run on Two and Half men that can only be described as Legendary. By all accounts from American media (which are not reliable by any measure) Sheen had showed up drunk on set and was stumbling when rehearsing his lines. What is this world coming to when aHollywoodstar can’t show up to work staggering drunk?
Sheen was subsequently dismissed not for showing up to work drunk but for calling Chuck Lorre by his Jewish name. The one lesson to be learned from this is that if you want to be happy and drunk don’t fuck with the creator.
Sheen is perhaps the most loved star with the lowest poll numbers in the world right now, his approval rating stands at 16% but the overall viewership of Two and Half men stands at just over 12 million, that’s almost equal to the registered number of voters in Mzansi. What makes him so deeply attractive is that his narcissism is as erratic as a Viagra inspired erection. He is the persona for the ultimate American badass. Genuinely one of the three people in the world that don’t give a fuck, the other two being Julius Malema and George Bush.
It is sad however for all parties involved that this self-confessed winner will no longer be on Two and half men. Despite the fact that the syndication money from the series will fuel a few drinking binges I am sure Sheen will not be happy either. Subsequently the series has announced that Ashton Kutcher will be taking over the character of “Charlie”
Perhaps Charlie does have a good point, maybe the person who made this decision does deserve to be hacked, or at least subjected to long stares from unhappy Sheenians. It should be accepted as common sense that after 177 episodes there is no one that can do that persona like Sheen did. With his golfers and shorts Charlie has become the epitome of upper-middle-class Casanova. I’m sure a few of us have tried some of his pick up lines and reported that we have made contact.
Now we have to deal with the incompetencies of long haired, un-tanned populist. The formula is bound to render the comedy #losing. I tell you now they might as well replace Jake with Justin Beiber, script Alan as coming out of the closet and turn the whole thing into a musical. I am sure Charlie would be interested in suing for soundtracks rights.