Who run this mother?
A couple of decades back it would have been unheard of to find a woman heading up a business or delegating to her male counterparts. Women played second fiddle both in the work place and at home. A culture of mediocrity was in a many ways advocated and showcased as the norm; women were fit only for professions like nursing and teaching. The lines “women in the constitutional court” would have been the punch line in many jokes. This is not just a matter of race, in many cultures men were (and in some many still are) the sole bread winners in the family.
In the Shaka Zulu day’s men went out to hunt and protected their families with spears and shields while women bore and looked after children, cooked food, made beer, and kept the bed warm. Even though times changed our fathers and their fathers have kept that concept going in a varying degree. In the early parts of the last century many men left the village to hunt in a village of a different kind. The concrete jungles of Cape Town and Jozi.
Fast forward to 2011 and you enter a whole different spectrum. This is the era where men and women are deemed equal and they are making the most of it. Women of today own television networks, production companies, run for state president, hold senior positions in places that many of their male counterparts would envy.
No longer do women only dream of marriage, bearing their husbands truckloads of children or remaining in the shadows ironing shirts and pairing socks. Feminist thinking has gone far beyond that. We dream of driving that car, contributing towards the upkeep of our homes, buying those handbags and shoes cash (and still having plenty left over to go on a much needed spending spree).
The most exciting part about this is that those desires are coupled with the will to make lucrative decisions in the workplace. Many ladies have already paved the way for us in achieving such things and making names for themselves both nationally and internationally.
To name them all would fill more than a few pages, names like Khanyi Dlomo and Lebo Mashile come to mind.
Some women, even if they aren’t driving luxurious SUV’s have mastered the art of independence. They raise their children single handedly without any financial assistance or moral support from the fathers and still have budding careers and lives.
Although not all men embrace this cultural shift, it has proven that it is here to stay. Sadly, divorce statistics have soared a great deal since both men and women occupy strenuous positions in their respective fields. Thus leaving a void in their families. Ladies, it is all good to be the CEO of Transnet but if you are married or planning on getting hitched you should remember that men need constant attention (it’s almost like having a baby except this one can walk and talk already).
Even though they seldom say it they want a home cooked meal, they want to be asked how their day was, all the other stuff you did when you were still dating and they want to be handed a beer without asking for one. Men also don’t want to be reminded that you earn more or that your job is more important than theirs. Leave the CEO jacket in your car and be a wife when you walk through that door.
The Shaka Zulu days are definitely a thing of the past but if you expect the helper to do everything for your husband, don’t be surprised when the husband returns the favor by sleeping with her or someone else that has been paying more attention to him than you. Yes I know we want them fuss over us too but unfortunately men were programmed in a slightly different way, they are not keen on all the details. So the valuable lesson here is to be a CEO at work, a damn good chef in the kitchen, a humble homemaker, a stunning mother to your children and a whore in the bedroom to create a balance in your house.
Although we must do what we need to do to keep good family dynamics alive – I think it is about time that the opposite sex acknowledges that behind every successful man is a damn strong woman who has been wiping tears and has probably been on her knees praying half the time.
We should focus on ourselves and put this whole “my man” saga on hold, we as women need to know the importance of sister-hood. There are far too many women hating on each other and unfortunately when we do that, it breaks many of the bridges that have been built to help us progress. That yields bad news for other young women, who (unless they join the Oprah academy) will have very little to look up to.