All good things come to an end

The above statement is true in all aspects our lives, whether good or bad. Depending on the circumstances that we are faced with when this abrupt change takes place we either embrace the ending by looking at it as a new beginning or try to ignore it and pretend it isn’t happening. The main things that we have no control over when it comes to this are growing up, love and death.

If I had known that because I was a child I was able to get away with most things, ask for anything (well almost), talk when I wanted to, eat, play, sleep in that order and not have to give a damn about anything except wanting more toys, then I would’ve stayed a child. I would have out run pimples, puberty, age and the whole lot of other things that come with “growing up”.  

 Unfortunately, like most children I didn’t want to stay young for long – I wanted to do the things that grownups do – good, bad or otherwise. I saw women driving their own cars, buying what they wanted when they wanted, I saw my older cousins going out with their boyfriends and blushing when they spoke about what they got up to and I thought whoa! I want that too.

 Even if I didn’t physically do what I saw, in my mind I tried to erase all thoughts that I was still a child and adamant that I was ready to be an independent woman despite the fact that I was 13. There I was, face turning red and starting to notice boys (sadly my advances were not returned). It was during that time that hormones started doing their bit to let me know, adulthood had arrived I didn’t even want to play anymore because it would mean getting dirty and messing up my hair. I had skipped the remaining years of just being a kid and fast forwarded to an era of blush, nails and using words like “darling”.

Fast forward to high school where having a crush (or two or three…) was inevitable, girls wanted to get noticed and boys wanted to prove their prowess. It was a jungle; survival of the fittest was the name of the game. It was nothing serious but because we didn’t know that better things were yet to come, we got emotionally attached and balled our eyes out when our crushes chose to date “that other girl” instead of us. It was fun though – well that’s if you had friends and didn’t spend your time at the library during break. Many got their first sense of love there and held on to it till today, others had to wait till varsity to get their compass in the right direction. And some, well lets just say never got there at all.

We all wanted (and in some cases still do) love but have come to realize that you shouldn’t have to go looking for it because then you end up settling for anything that will make you feel even remotely wanted. The LOVE phase of my life taught me that not everyone I love will love me back as you cannot make someone love you (although judging by the flyers in downtownDurbanmany “Sangomas” would strongly disagree).

 When most young people give a layout of what they think of their future will be like they mention education, career, and then starting a family. When you ask a child what they want to be when they grow up the most likely answers will be a fireman, lawyer or doctor. You will never get a child saying I want to be rich and famous then buried in a white casket. No one ever plans for death, even a married couple that is in their late 60’s doesn’t want to think or talk about it. The very thought is enough to put you off your food and make you want to call it a night. I was fortunate enough to not have to deal with death at an early age but nothing could have prepared me for my uncle’s death, not even fate herself.

I had never been to a funeral before that or lost a family member. I felt my heart literally tear to shreds. I didn’t understand why he had to go, I saw him in pain while he was in hospital but I was under the impression that he was getting better. The phase of having him there when I needed to talk to someone was gone. I blamed God, the hospital, ulcers, the world and all who lived in it. When the pain had finally subsided and realizing that every week more than ten families all over the world bury their own loved ones, I let go.

I came to the conclusion that we don’t control who we meet, when we meet them, when they leave us or even why. We are mere humans trying to get by in life before our time is up. So yes, all good things come to an end but wouldn’t you rather go down with the satisfaction that you lived your life rather than full of regrets?


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